Finding Love After 50 by Tom Blake

Author:Tom Blake
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: love after 50 finding love after 50 dating after 50 widowers widows divorcees senior love middle aged dating tom blake
Publisher: Tom Blake

“Tell me about him.”

She started describing all of his wonderful qualities.

“When did you two meet face to face for the first time?” I asked.

Silence.

They hadn’t met in person, and yet she was ready to pack up her two kids and move to Chicago to be with him. He was also married, but neither marriage--hers nor his--was an obstacle to her. When I suggested she should think this over--she hadn’t even seen the man in person--she replied: “I never seen God either but love Him above all.” At that point, I let the conversation drop, I couldn’t help her.

Other foolish connections

A woman from Washington, D.C., e-mailed: “A recently divorced friend claims he’s met his ‘love’ over the Internet. After writing and calling for months, she arrived here last Wednesday. They’re going back to Calif., selling her condo, and returning to buy a house, where he and his two girls can live. He’s known her all of four days. Is this crazy?”

A San Francisco man shared his Internet experience: “After living alone in the same residence for 21 years, I fell for a charming, vivacious woman living in Georgia. I succumbed to my loneliness, married her in late 2000, and moved to Georgia.

“Things didn’t work out. I’m back, starting over, ruined financially, driving an old $300 car and trying to put my life back together.”

A Jackson High School (Michigan) classmate, who still lives in the Midwest, e-mailed this story: “Out of the blue, a friend asked his wife for a divorce. He was getting together with a woman out east he’d ‘met’ on the Internet (not sure whether he had met her in person at that point). He divorced and married the woman back east.

Some months later, he asked his Jackson wife if they could get back together. Of course, she said no but he moved back here anyway. His two daughters would hardly speak to him. Then he tried to get back together with the second woman who said no. Wow! How to screw up your life!”

A California woman sold her house and moved to Chicago to be with a man. She said, “I’m still paying the price--emotionally and financially. Emotionally-- not over the guy any longer--but what I gave up financially and how difficult it is to get my life back. I was foolish to sell my home. When I returned, I didn’t have a job or furniture.”

These people didn’t fall in love. They fell in love with the idea of love and made life-changing decisions that put themselves in a deeper hole than before. They thought by having an, “Oh, what-the-hell, what-have-I-got-to-lose, go-for-it, live-for-today attitude, that their lives would be better. They thought that by joining up with someone, the two parts would make a stronger whole. They thought someone else would improve their lives for them.

Warning:

Don’t let loneliness or feelings of desperation influence your decision making. Don’t consider moving to another location to be with a new love unless you’ve known that person for months or years. Reread the section in Chapter 7 about long-distance relationships.

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